Habits-Friend or Foe
Our habits abound in our everyday activities and often go unnoticed. One example is reaching for that cup of coffee the very first thing every morning of every day. A more relatable example nowadays might be reaching for that smart phone before you do anything and I mean anything.
A potentially great habit is committing to leaving your smart phone off or in another room when you are attending to a high priority project or deadline. Who are you, Jim? Blasphemy you say!
Perhaps adding an extra glass or two of water to your daily routine.
Or scheduling an exercise time and day and honoring it without deviation.
Eating a banana split every day or avoiding tedious tasks did not make this good habits list.
Good habits are often in the rear-view mirror of someone blessed with ADHD. You need them in plain view and in front of you as you drive forward.
Productive habits take time and effort to develop as do the unproductive ones.
Take a moment to identify a habit that serves you well and consider how you can sustain your awareness and make it stronger. On the flip side ponder how you might deconstruct a habit that derails your efforts.
Habits can help or hinder us. Your choice.
Something to Nibble On.
What we put in our body matters! A healthy diet is critical to a healthy brain and body. An easy start is drinking the recommended amount of water each day. We all know what an unhealthy diet consists of - high carb and sugar intake for instance. Overeating, abusing alcohol, smoking, abusing prescription and street drugs takes a toll on our ability to perform at our peak.
Eat as if your life and health depends on it because it usually does.
I am not suggesting dieting or complete abstinence from all pleasurable foods and drink. I am encouraging mindful awareness of what nurtures your body/mind to feel good/great and what does not and to use this as your guide when making choices.
We perform better when we feel better.
Getting Started is Half the Battle
Making it perfect is the bane of most adults who are impacted by ADD, as well as a source of frustrating procrastination. “What if I make a mistake?” “What if it doesn’t turn out exactly the way I need it to, what if others reject it or me?”
Why is this such a painful struggle? We all know the answer. It’s because few things in life are perfect, but this awareness does not preclude the persistent desire to make our efforts perfect, to be freed from our doubt and worry.
World-class athletes practice their craft for thousands of hours in preparation for Olympic events and yet skaters fall, skiers tumble, gymnasts slip, runners stumble and high jumpers hit the bar on the way up and down. They’re all excellent performers, just not perfect.
It is not easy to accept something as being “good enough”, but it can reduce the stressful internal dialogue, struggle and inertia that occurs.
Commit to a “good enough” philosophy when you face important deadlines.
Set a timeline for task completion and honor the effort and outcome. Practice by starting a small project (perhaps doing the dishes).
Ask for help getting started and for letting go once the project is complete.
Energize your efforts by perhaps starting out with a few jumping jacks, a brisk walk, a bike ride, an interesting 10 min. podcast or utilizing relaxing or stimulating music to help you take that first step and keep going. Can you add your own suggestion here?
Strive for being competent and productive in your life. Remember a C or a B is always better than an incomplete or a never happened.
A Quick No Limits Tip For the Day.
When starting any new endeavor, a primary question should be, what skill sets are necessary for me to be successful in my enterprise.? Your next query follows, are there additional skills that I will need to recruit from others.
Success is seldom attained from an “I can’t” or “I’m afraid” mantra.
Know what you do well and how to initiate your plan and have awareness of who has the additional skills that will complement your effort.
Managing Distractions
Multiple creative ideas can become distractions and might feel overwhelming at times. Large projects or too many projects at once may clog the ol’ cranial warehouse and shut down production. So, keep it simple:
Talk through your goal and steps with someone and ask them to keep you accountable to your efforts and keep a progress/success log, to keep your focus on your activity and not on the next shiny marble that comes into your view.
Fire-Ready-Aim!
Fire-Ready-Aim is a term often used to describe behavior that is impulsive and frequently renders unwanted outcomes. Reacting hastily without considering potential consequences, difficulty stopping or altering a destructive action once it has been put into motion, blurting out thoughts without forethought about the possible outcome are some examples of impulsive behavior. Impulsive, unfocused behavior complicates our lives and frequently leads to conflict and/or harmful consequences at the professional and personal level.
Impulsivity is something many of us struggle with at times, some more than others.
If you find yourself wishing you could be more proactive and less reactive in your thoughts and deeds I would encourage you to practice a simple exercise.
Try asking yourself these four questions before taking any action.
1. What am I doing?
2. Why am I doing it?
3. What outcome do I want?
4. What outcome should I expect?
Write these questions down and keep them with you. Practice referring to the page until they become automatic thoughts.
Thoughtful Behavior Leads to Fruitful Outcomes
We frequently do not have control over what happens to us on a daily basis. While we seem to put forth great effort towards controlling our environment, it is not uncommon for universal forces to exert unexpected events and pressures upon us.
What we do have are opportunities to determine how we face these events and the choices we make during each experience. Being aware of our thoughts, feelings and actions produce more chances to make purposeful choices which can produce positive outcomes.
Commit to making an effort each day to step back and ask a few attentive questions when you are faced with a difficult demand, transition or experience.
Here are a few to ponder:
Why am I doing this (planful/mindful strategy, reactive emotions, seeking immediate gratification, external distractions, outside pressures, feeling overwhelmed etc.)?
What outcome am I seeking and how do I benefit?
Is what I am doing at this moment going to lead to my desired outcome?
If the answer is no, Do I need to alter my behavior or plan?
Do I need help?
Remember, thoughtful behavior often leads to meaningful outcomes.
A Monday Morning No Limits Tip.
If you want to be more successful in your endeavors, make the challenge personal by developing your own routine and following a system that fits the way you work best, rather than the way people think you should work. The key will always be knowing how you work best!
Evoke Your Potential
How many of us lose our potential for success by locking onto our self-doubts, fear of failure or avoidance of outside judgment? It’s so easy to get lost in the commotion and muddle that embodies our lives today.
Take a moment to increase your awareness of what you do well and the potential you possess.
Create a thorough inventory of your strength’s, skills, ambitions, and successes. Write them out, read them silently, say them out loud and record them while you do. Be sure to listen back. Repeat often.
There can only be one skipper piloting your ship. Who better than you?
How Do We change?
Often, with resistance and resentment, cautiously, slowly, apprehensively and with uncertainty. Productive change comes from commitment and resolve, from intentional activity, energy, enthusiasm and resilience.
The process of change is packed with a multitude of emotions and behaviors that could be both beneficial and detrimental and so, the Ying and the Yang of life.
Yet we change because we must on occasion, because we can on others. More importantly we change because we have the opportunity to choose and affect a better way of living and experiencing life.
There are experts who believe they understand the process of change and suggest that following their guide exactly as they direct it will lead to successful and rewarding change and they are probably right at times.
I work from a belief that we are more likely to act upon and sustain productive effort when we respond to ideas, structures and values that we embrace as our own and believe to be true.
As a coach, I embrace this principle and encourage individuals to explore and develop goals/aspirations/dreams and action plans that emanate from their own driving principles, passions, beliefs and views of themselves and the world they live in.
My role as a coach is to walk along as a part of the journey, stimulating thought, creativity and intentional behavior, problem solving, exploring and removing road blocks and celebrating the successes along the path rather than directing every step.
Change is a process of time and movement. Is it time?