Self Awareness Beats Self-Doubt, Everytime

How often do you question your efforts to make any progress towards the personal or professional goals you have set?  Many professionals I have coached initially find themselves bogged down in self-doubt and negative judgment.  When asked to review their progress they will list a litany of all of the things they have not done and note how discouraged they feel.

But when asked to identify what they have accomplished over the past week they struggle to recall any positive actions or successes.

Here is a simple action that can be invaluable when you fall into this trap.

Take an inventory of your achievements. Set aside a few moments each day to identify the successes and purposeful initiatives you have taken that you find noteworthy and write them down, then review your inventory each week. If you struggle to name your accomplishments, seek out a trusted partner, friend or co-worker to see if they can objectively add to your list.

It is easy to get distracted by all of the things that go wrong and your self-proclaimed failures in a day and week. It is imperative for you to never lose sight of your achievements and significant efforts. Your ability to be mindful of what you have accomplished is a valuable cue to what you are truly capable of and will provide the impetus for continued effort and your ultimate success. 

No Limits Tip for the Week

How many of us lose our potential for success by locking onto our self-doubts, fear of failure or avoidance of outside judgment? It’s so easy to get lost in the noise, smoke and chaos that are today’s norms.

Take a moment to step back and engage in your personal authenticity.

Create a daily inventory of your strength’s, goals and successes, (write them out, read them silently, then say them out loud and make sure to share them with assurance and conviction with whomever may need to be enlightened of your unique significance).

But I Never Planned on Being a Hat Checker in a Chinese Deli!

So how did I get here?

By luck?  By accident? By trusting in the good intentions of others?

If you believed you were going to be an astronaut, but ended up working as a Hat Checker in a Chinese Deli, chances are you never designed and followed a plan that was based on your skills, your values and your dreams.

Unfettered focus and behavior often place us at the mercy of luck, accidents and the good or bad intentions of others.

If you are sincere in your desire to create a new journey/adventure, take a moment to identify a personal or professional aspiration. Map out each phase necessary to reach that goal. Set a date for taking an initial step forward and set a completion deadline. Share this deadline with someone you trust.  Periodically share your progress with that person to assure your sustained effort. Never ignore asking for help if your journey gets bumpy.  Repeat over and over until the activity becomes an automatic occurrence and say hello astronaut school!        

Jim’s Thought for the Day

It’s great to be well intended, but it doesn’t guarantee success or even meaningful effort. Build habits that help you to know what to do and when to do it. Try this early morning suggestion.

a. Use a Planner daily and refer to it often.  Write with pen and paper (how archaic), utilize a computer, draw pictures on a cave wall (even more archaic), or record on your smart phone, all of your critical priorities and times for attending to them and be sure to repeat them out loud. You are more likely to stay on track when you have visual and audio reminders of your daily priorities and commitments. Always ask; What am I doing? Why am I doing it? What outcome am I striving for? Should I anticipate a positive or negative outcome if I continue with this activity? Questions such as these can be helpful for staying on track and attaining the goal you seek.

Entrepreneur, Meet ADHD

Article on Entrepreneurs and ADHD

I recently read an article by Jake Chapman who wrote, “Garret LoPorto cites Fortune Magazine claiming that people with ADHD are 300 percent more likely to start their own company than others.”

I had two thoughts. First, that makes sense.  Folks with ADHD are quite often, creative, socially engaging, curious, bright, highly energetic, enthusiastic risk takers who prefer to work out of the box.

And then I thought, Oh! Oh! There is going to be a large portion of those adventurous souls who are going to struggle and possibly fail, because adults with ADHD can also be impulsive, have difficulty prioritizing, and completing projects on time.  They are easily bored and distracted, prone to overestimating their ability to achieve a goal, or underestimating the time and effort required to reach that goal.  Stir in the additional burden of depression and anxiety that can tag along with ADHD and the mountain looms higher and higher. 

An entrepreneur must wear many hats and face a wide array of challenges:

·      Long and short-term planning

·      Resources identified, acquired and developed

·      Hiring, mentoring and supervising staff

·      Develop and implement business strategies

·      Cultivate and maintain critical business relationships

·      Fight daily fires

How do you do all that and maintain value in personal relationships?

Life is a balancing act and ADHD is an unbalancing state.  

ADHD can lead to new problems or aggravate existing ones. As a result, the entrepreneur may also experience emotional stress and discomfort.

There are many coping strategies that successful entrepreneurs employ. Some beneficial habits are:

·      Utilizing planning schedulers to identify and manage critical priorities.

·      Employing apps for organizing and time management.

·      Working with a coach or mentor.

·      Developing and maintaining healthy eating and exercise habits.

·      Scheduling breaks from a hectic work schedule.

·      Nurturing special interests and relationships.

·      Taking time to laugh, play and rest.

·      Having trusted confidantes to rely on.

·      Delegating rather than overextending time and effort.

These are self-care strategies that are vital to creating and sustaining a thriving business, and a healthy life.

On the flip side, there are hazardous behaviors that may emerge. Some will choose to wing it rather than plan it. They may overextend time, focus and work on stimulating or interesting tasks rather than on critical priorities. Overestimating abilities and resources, underestimating timelines, and impulsive decision-making can be a killer. Some may self-sooth through over eating, substance abuse, gambling, or thrill seeking behaviors. I would note that, many of these actions might produce negative and potentially dramatic consequences on relationships and personal lives.

Are entrepreneurs with ADHD doomed to a failed effort? I say, nay, nay!  In fact, there are many successful entrepreneurs who have reportedly been linked to the struggles of ADHD: Richard Branson, Bill Gates, David Neeleman, (Jet Blue founder), Paul Orfalea, (Kinko’s founder) and Walt Disney, are just a few.

There is a fine line between the entrepreneur who succeeds with ADHD and the one who does not. I would note that, this could also be true for entrepreneurs who do not have ADHD. The professional who succeeds will acknowledge and accept the difficulties their actions, habits and emotions create, and they will develop a plan of action to correct or manage their problems.

If you struggle with the strain and stress of starting and effectively operating your own business, I say, Don’t Try To Do It Alone. You are much more likely to achieve your objectives and surpass your competition when you acquire the correct battle plan and the skills to put it into action.

I admit that I have a bias, and I believe a coach is the ideal person to assist with the typical ADHD traits that will inhibit effective and sustainable habits. A coach provides supportive assistance to help you develop strategies, develop and enhance current skills, and provide accountability to your plan of action. If not a coach, then a mentor, a trusted and objective friend or business partner.

Just don’t struggle alone!

The easy part is knowing, or learning what to do. The hard part is doing it consistently and effectively.

To Dream Or Not To Be

How often do you sit with your dreams, wishes, your fears and longings, waiting for the universe or Amazon delivery to bring change, success and good fortune to your doorstep?  

Aspirations attained are most often determined by the actions you take, not by the activities of others, time spent waiting or the fates of the universe.

I believe successful entrepreneurs and business professionals are living, breathing examples of this credo. You better believe Walt Disney didn’t sit at home waiting for Mickey to knock at his door. Nope, he went into the back yard and scoured high and low until he secured that lovable little critter.

How many of us lose our potential for success by locking onto our self-doubt, fear of failure or our avoidance of outside judgment.

 Many thriving entrepreneurs operate from a Ready, Aim, Fire mantra.  That mindset at the very least gets them into the game. From there on success will depend on planning, persistence, perseverance and talent.

  Too many of us sit for days, weeks, months and even years waiting for the prize we yearn for. Change is way more likely to emerge when we initiate the deliberate and focused actions required.

I hear it worked out really well for Walt and Mickey.

Feeling Anxious? Grab the Reins!

Anticipating worrisome, dreadful encounters or events can lead to emotional discomfort, distraction from priorities, performance disruption and sleepless nights. We agonize and fret over disruptive triggers that have yet to occur and possibly never will. We predict severe and unmanageable consequences that are just around the corner. We feel powerless to intervene in any constructive manner, so we flee, shut down or sit fretfully in anticipation of the moment doomsday strikes. And when this happens it is possible that we will lose our ability to attend to daily tasks, adhere to routines, take on additional roles or responsibilities and most importantly lose our ability to enjoy activities and relationships.

I believe a good deal of the anxiety we experience is related to the way we define, and imagine the ghastly experience we foresee ahead of us and our desire to avoid it rather than on what we can and will do if that anticipated moment were to actually materialize. I adhere to that ol Boy Scout motto, Be Prepared.

 We are significantly more powerful and confident when we are prepared to take action while facing these unsettling moments. Project yourself into that anticipated experience and think about the actions you could and will take to quiet the storm if it hits. Identify the words that would calm your spirit, strengthen you and diminish the power of that event and write them down and say them out loud. What resources will you activate to give you the confidence to face the moment? What prior experiences will you draw upon to remember how and when you have mastered similar anxious moments? Utilize one or more of the many breathing techniques that help to reduce the stress response. Visualize yourself actually facing and moving through the event calmly and confidently.

Remember the Godzilla in your mind is always sooo much bigger, significantly more destructive and breathes gobs more fire than the one on the big screen or in real life. You are the master of the movie and you write the script.

I partner with professional adults, together we highlight focused and intentional effort towards the changes and objectives that matter most to them.

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Caution! LIfe Up Ahead

“They” say, life gets less gratifying and more difficult as we move through each more challenging stage. I cannot dispute the realities that we face the longer we stay rooted on this wondrous planet.

I will however challenge anyone to dispute our lifelong passion for and pursuit of, adventure, enlightenment, social stimulation, bonding, purpose and validation. I’m sure the majority of us embrace at least one of those pursuits if not all (feel free to add to the list).

Oh sure, one might argue that  the onset of creaky bones, rising doctor’s visits and the accompanying treatments, perhaps: thicker glasses, a slight limp, slower recall for names and places, a jump shot minus the jump, all those extra breaths required to blow out those ever-expanding candles, a few wrong turns along the way to gramma’s house, perhaps fewer close friends or family to share with, less tiger and more kitten in the tank might be enough to move many of us to say uncle, I give.

I get it, life is hard, damn hard sometimes and it takes work, a lot of work. But it’s the only life we get (unless you choose to believe otherwise) and why in the heck should we not embrace it as if it were a precious child to love or at least a nice lean salami hoagie. Every Dang Day! But it’s not just embracing life, it’s living it, to the best of our ability, in ways that are rewarding, exciting, stimulating, pleasing and nourishing.  Life is meant to be lived not observed, feared or avoided.

So, what do you need to do? Well remembering who and what you love, what you have always enjoyed and not giving up is a really good start. Inevitably you will need to adapt your wishes, desires and activities to some of the realities you face. You will eventually need to walk up the mountain rather than running to the top as you once did.  It may take you longer to drive to your most favorite destination, but you’ll get there as long as you start your engine. Your annual summer camping expedition may turn into a Spa weekend.  Your energy and urge to bake those homemade cookies may wane, but the smells in the kitchen and the smiles on family and friends faces as well as your own will make it all worthwhile. What’s most important is getting in the game of life and staying there as often and as best you possibly can. Your next adventure, new friend or challenge may lie just around the corner.

I have no illusions about how difficult it may be to hold onto the passion and motivation needed to plan or take action on any given day. You may require a burst of inspiration, support or simply an understanding ear to say I get it before you get in gear.  

Make sure you acquire whatever you need to keep your life, comforting, meaningful and invigorating. There will always be resources to garner support, reinforcement, new ideas, validation and if needed a boot in the ol keister.

A mighty Oak tree can live for a long, long time but it will never be able to leave the forest, smile, laugh out loud, dance the polka, ride in a gondola in Venice or sing happy birthday. But you can!

Act First-Think Later? Oops too late!

If Fire-Ready-Aim is your primary mode of planning and procedure you might find yourself facing unexpected and unfavorable outcomes more often than you have anticipated. Reacting hastily on a whim or an urge without considering the potential consequences, having difficulty stopping or altering a disruptive or fruitless action once it has been set into motion, blurting out random thoughts without considering the possible consequence are some examples of impulsive behavior. Hasty, unfocused behavior complicates our lives, and we may find ourselves facing uncomfortable/challenging consequences at the professional or personal level.   

Impulsivity is something many of us struggle with at times, some more than others.  

If you find yourself needing to be more proactive and less reactive in your thoughts and deeds, I would encourage you to practice a simple exercise.

Try asking yourself these four questions before taking any action.

  1.   What am I doing?

 2.  Why am I doing it?

 3.   What outcome do I want?

 4.   What outcome should I expect? 

Write these questions down and keep them with you. Practice referring to the page until they become automatic thoughts. 

Mastering this technique will go a long way toward harnessing impulsive behavior. Ready-Aim-Fire!

Walloping Those Sales Demons

I often chuckle when reminded of an independent financial advisor, Lenny who referred to his business efforts as hunting for the biggest bear in the woods. He spent a great deal of time tracking down the largest critter in the land and every now and then bagged the grand trophy, but when his shot failed him, he became fearful of surviving leaner times. Lenny frequently ignored the opportunity to gather in the smaller yet bountiful resources that would sustain him through the harshest times and allow him to thrive when that champion trophy was out of sight.      

What matters most in the world of sales? That’s easy, generating sales and reaping the rewards of the commission. Is that happening as often as you would like? Are you performing at your optimum level? Are you sitting around waiting for that big ol bear to jump out of the woods?

The key to replicable success is having a balance between structured activities and the formulation and maintenance of trusting relationships. The value of making calls, scheduling meetings and acquiring the client is obvious and an absolute to success. The importance of building quality professional relationships is undeniable, but the critical steps are often forgotten or missed. 

Successful sales requires structured activity and that is easy for some. It can be quite challenging for others, especially for those who are working for themselves or have the added pressure of generating commissions. Many professionals are impacted by the pressures of having to structure their activity when business isn’t flowing as expected. Worry and anxiety frequently appear and can derail focus and intention for brief and even extended periods of time.

During times like these, I urge Action over inertia. Start with small routines that can lead back to focused and planful activity. Make a commitment to develop habits that disrupt self-defeating behaviors, such as:

·    Exercising for 10- 15 minutes before going into the office or at the office. This can increase energy and concentration  

·    Develop a plan of action for your day the night before (identify 1-5 clients you want to reach out to in the a.m.)

·    Create a daily inventory of your strengths (know what you do well and know how to communicate that), goals and successes,

·    Get to the office 10 minutes earlier than usual, pick up the phone and dial as soon as you sit down at your desk (this limits the time you have to talk yourself out of the call).

·     Avoid checking voice mail and leave your computer off until you make all of your planned calls.

·     Alternate difficult tasks with easier or more enjoyable ones.

·     Set manageable and attainable goals (remember Lenny and the Bear).

·     Ask for help when you need it.

Effective follow through, mindful activity, skillful time management, focused and effective communication are critical keys to success.

Working with a coach offers an opportunity to build focused intentional routines that can lead to successful outcomes more consistently. This process focuses on maximizing strengths, minimizing self-defeating behaviors, developing strong habits that sustain success and maintaining consistent intentional and proactive activity.

Happy Hunting!

Thinking Starts The Game, Action Decides The Winner

                     There are many well-known stories of extremely successful individuals who are, intensely driven, other worldly regimented, creative and bright, brighter, brightest. They spy their prize and relentlessly plot out their pursuit until their Holy Grail is secured. Some names that may strike a chord are Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, John Dutton (for all you Yellowstone fans) and Steve Jobs.

These examples of high achievers and many like them do not necessarily represent the norm. There are countless numbers of us who are creative, bright, gifted and motivated towards achievement, but may not possess the natural tendency or self-awareness to be as planful, as regimented, or as persistent.

While many of us have a dream or a passion, the creative urge, the smarts, motivation to succeed, a story to tell, a mountain to climb, there may be circumstances, natural tendencies or self-doubts that derail our confidence and efforts. What these high achievers have learned is that, most desired outcomes are determined by how well we are able to plan and then turn that plan into intentional actions.

Many of us have goals and dreams worth realizing. Perhaps creating the next great business, becoming a famous chef, managing the only Rhinoceros petting zoo in Paris, creating the next blockbuster App, or designing a jacket zipper that never gets stuck (I wish someone would!), but for many of us our goals and ambitions get lost in thought or stuck in self-doubt.  You might have the energy, a great idea, vision or goal, but you may not be ready to invest in yourself, to trust yourself or to fully commit to a workable plan.

Consider what we think as the lead-in to what we do. Thought, plan, action, success!

There are questions to be asked and answered to attain clarity, direction and confidence.

What are the values and rewards of my goal? What will it take to achieve it? How much am I ready to commit?  What resources will I need and do I have them and where do I get them if I don’t? What level of discomfort am I willing to experience if any? What changes will be required and is the reward equal to or greater than the effort? Can I do this on my own or do I need help/support. What are my behavior patterns that might get in my way or derail me? What are my strengths and how will I use them to my advantage? What are my blind spots?  Am I ready to meet the challenge with action?

Ideas/goals without purposeful planning and sustained intentional action render little personal reward. High achievers have learned this, believe this, live this. You should too!

You Can’t Complete Something Until You Start Something

                     You can’t complete something until you begin something.                                                                

What if, you actually took a first step towards that crucial goal that sits restlessly in your mind, rather than just thinking about it or waiting for divine intervention today?  Would you be more hopeful about your potential for success?  Might that small step produce more energy and confidence?

I would suggest a route that is painless and with a high reward ceiling. There is typically a beginning and an end to any path, which if never stepped upon will offer no opportunity for satisfaction or success.   If you sit long enough in contemplation or apprehension you will only learn to be very good at sitting.

One small step, what might that be you ask?  It could be something as simple as:

·       Putting down your I Pad, Smart Phone etc. and telling someone what your goal is and why it is important to you.

·       Getting off the couch and writing down a value statement regarding the effort you will put forth and identifying the reward waiting at the end of the rainbow.

·        Sitting down and charting the steps you would need to take.

·       Making that first contact to get the ball rolling.

·        Identifying the thoughts that have held you back and asking someone you trust to give you a nudge forward.

·       Researching the information you need to put your plan into action.

·       Asking for help when you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed by your project.

·       Identifying and gathering the resources that will bring your goal to fruition.

I’m always suspicious when someone tells me they intend to quit smoking next Monday and today is Tuesday. While I believe they are well intended, I know they are negotiating internally and chances are very high that come Monday they will still be puffing away.

 Putting off the challenge of an uncertain quest or reward for another day or week or month may bring some relief but never the emotional rush, sense of achievement and success that comes from an adventure faced and conquered.    

Intentional activity breeds more activity and a more determined you.

Remember

 Your success is determined by your effort!      

Blog Post Title One

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.

Blog Post Title Two

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.

Blog Post Title Three

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.

Blog Post Title Four

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.